The metro doors beep in time to the nervous chattering of my teeth. A Spanish Adonis has sat across from me and I. Am. Losing. It. I don’t usually fall for looks; I like a brain, good conversation, all that. But…
I can see my heartbeat in his bicep.
Olive skin, green eyes framed in thick black lashes. Broad and lean like a tennis player.
I feel my nostrils flaring. (Can you feel your pupils dilating?)
I hold my phone up to my face to deflect. It looks natural, it’s fine. I’m fine. I look up. Probably concerned for the guy suffering from some kind of nervous attack across from him, he’s looked up too. Our eyes meet.
You know when you take off running downhill and your legs get out ahead of you and you couldn’t stop even if you wanted to? That. My vocal cords start trembling, my mouth curves up into a Joker-esque smile. Dear God… I’m laughing.
Laughing might be generous. Something high-pitched and vaguely human comes out of me. I can’t stop it. I can feel it all but I can’t control it: the flaring nostrils, the twitching smile, the fevered cackle.
Proxima parada, next stop: Banco de España—the intercom offers me an escape.
I’m still a good six stops away from my house but I can’t stay. The metro grinds to a stop and I jump out. Feel his eyes on me as I climb out. Poor guy, he’ll think. Probably his first time riding the metro.
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